The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love brings enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, closeness, and love .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have fallen under moved here the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Many gay males desire to discover from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with Discover More Here your head. This indicates combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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